I reflect on a Friday and try to identify a takeaway from my week. This week’s takeaway is it might be time to get back to basics in relationships, whether at work or in life. Communication and good feedback are key, even if someone knows they are doing well, or that you appreciate them. It’s still nice to hear it. Isn’t it?

Do your teammates or connections know what you think of them?
Do you know how they feel about you?
Do you ever feel like you’re saying the same thing over and over and if so, have you thought about “how” you give feedback?

We are human and although we are exceptional, we still haven’t developed mind-reading skills. Feedback helps people feel seen and heard, and that matters.

Have you ever hesitated to give someone constructive feedback?

I know I have in my time. I didn’t want to upset someone, or I assumed they already knew what needed improving, and worse than that, I hadn’t been clear enough in the first place. Giving constructive feedback after the fact, on how something could be improved felt a little bit like owning up to not communicating well enough up front.

Here’s the thing, clear, confident feedback, both positive and constructive, is what helps people thrive. It’s what grows trust in a team and creates space for autonomy and innovation, and that is what we’re aiming for, right?

Why does it even matter…confident, constructive feedback I mean? Here are my thoughts:

• Great feedback strengthens relationships. Whether personal or professional, feedback builds trust. It shows people that you value them enough to be honest.
• It prevents misunderstandings. No one wants to second-guess where they stand. We are human after all & humans crave clarity.
• It supports growth. If no one tells us what’s working and what isn’t, how can we improve?

I saw all three of these things in progress during my delivery this week and it is a huge part of the “why” I love doing what I do.

What Does Good Feedback Look Like?

Be clear and specific

Saying “Awesome job” is nice, but saying “That report was so well-structured, it was easy to follow and helped get the panel to agree the funding”, is better.

Balance praise and improvement

Too much criticism and people shut down; too much praise and they don’t grow. The best feedback helps someone feel seen, while also giving them the room to grow (with enough breathing space to stretch).

Deliver it with confidence

If you’re unsure about your own words, the person receiving it will be unsure too, so trust yourself and always make sure your feedback is a response and not a reaction so it comes with as much objectivity as you can muster.

Make it timely

Don’t wait six months to tell someone they did something amazing (or that they need to course-correct). Perhaps more importantly, give feedback when there is time for them to ask questions and seek clarity if needed. Leaving someone hanging overnight can be brutal.

Don’t lose great people because you forgot to say something important. Sometimes, all it takes is a few simple words to make a difference. The best leaders, friends, and colleagues don’t assume, they communicate it & they make people feel valued and challenged to grow because of it.

Done well, feedback that is communicated effectively, forms strong foundations and my takeaway this week is to make space to spend quality time with people and start simply, with meaningful conversations because the people in our lives; at work and outside of it, deserve to feel seen and heard, and so do we.