There’s a moment, sometimes slow, sometimes sudden, when you realise the life you’ve built no longer fits. On paper, everything looks fine, good work, steady income and you’re someone people look to in life. Perhaps you’re the steadfast, reliable one at home, at work or in your relationships?
…but underneath?
Maybe you feel boxed in, a bit stuck, listless? Disconnected from the version of yourself who once had ideas, ambitions, creativity, and freedom.
Oh no, there it is, that feeling of guilt!!! Do you feel guilty for even thinking about it, because you’re not unhappy exactly…
…Or, are you?
Either way, if any of that resonated with you, and you can’t put a finger exactly on what it is that tickled the edges of once upon a time creative, ambitious self, it might be that you are unfulfilled.
…and that “is this it?”, whisper that started quietly, underneath, starts to get louder.
The Quiet Longing That’s Hard to Explain
Wanting more doesn’t make you ungrateful.
It doesn’t mean you’re throwing away all the hard work you’ve done.
It simply means you’re evolving.
…but for many women, especially those who’ve spent a lifetime showing up for others, wanting more can feel selfish. Even shameful.
We’ve been conditioned to settle, to be thankful, to stay in our lane (perhaps even more so in the future if the news headlines and social media feeds, shouting about the negative impact on women’s rights and equalities become reality, like they think it might).
… and we do, we settle, until one day, we can’t ignore that flicker of longing anymore.
That flicker? The one you felt when you read the first few lines of this blog, it’s not foolish. It’s your fire.
My Pivot: From Permanent Contract to Freelance Freedom
For most of my working life, I operated inside fixed-term projects, short-term funding cycles, deadlines, constant reinvention. I gathered qualifications and experience, took every opportunity to grow, and learned how to make things happen with limited time and resources.
And then, in my 40s, I landed what so many strive for, a permanent contract.
At first, it felt like success. The security and recognition I thought I wanted, I grew up in a generation where the permanent contract was the ultimate goal!
…but over time, something shifted. What should have felt like “arriving” started to feel like a cage.
It was subtle at first. A sense of being hemmed in. A quiet voice that said, “You’ve stopped choosing this”. Once you’ve heard that voice it’s hard to ignore!
The idea of going freelance, of running my own business, had been with me for years and I had run away from it. Why?
Fear, because we run away from what we fear more than we run towards what we want. What was I afraid of? I’ll tell you:
- Financial instability.
- Failure in the spotlight.
- Being completely accountable, when it’s all on you, it’s on you.
So I stayed until I couldn’t, and when I eventually made the leap, surrounded by a great team of friends, family, and professional cheerleaders, I did it not just to work differently, but to live differently.
More Was Never the Problem. It Was the Map!
What I wanted wasn’t wild or outrageous, I wanted:
- Flexibility in my days.
- The freedom to say no to work that didn’t align with my values.
- A decent wage for the time, energy and expertise I gave.
- The space to be accountable for my wellbeing, effort and decisions.
In short, I wanted autonomy, choice and more than anything, I wanted meaning. Guess what, here’s the thing, it’s not too much to want and that is leadership of your own life.
What Do You Want That You’re Afraid to Admit?
If you’re feeling the stir of something new, a desire to pivot, to change, to build something of your own, I want you to know this:
You don’t need permission from anyone else.
You don’t need to wait until you’re “ready,” because you’ll never feel 100% ready (None of us do).
…and you certainly don’t need to feel ashamed for wanting more. More meaning. More flexibility. More for you.
Yes, It’s Scary, But It’s Also Worth It.
Pivoting is rarely a clean break. It’s messy and sometimes emotional. Sometimes it’s one step forward, two steps back and that’s also where you find your power.
That first step, even if it’s just acknowledging what you want, is where the shift begins.
Not just in what you do, but in how you feel.
When you start choosing your life instead of tolerating it, everything changes.
If you’re on the edge of a pivot and wondering whether you’re “too much” or “too late”, you’re not.
You’re right on time, and I’d love to walk beside you while you figure out your next step. If you’re ready you can join me on The YOU Project, and to get you started I’ve got you covered with a kick-start your “Permission to Pivot” with a series of reflective questions to help you get one step closer to YOU.
Head to my FREE resources section and look for the “Permission to Pivot Worksheets”
