…Remembering Yourself After a Lifetime of Being Everything to Everyone Else
There’s a moment that catches many women off guard.
It doesn’t always announce itself loudly. It can arrive in the quiet moments, loading the dishwasher, scrolling absently through your phone, sitting in a meeting you’re not quite present in. A thought, a feeling, a whisper that says:
“I don’t know who I am anymore”.
You glance around at your life, the home you’ve built, the people you love, the responsibilities you carry, and you wonder how you can feel so full and so empty at the same time.
The Juggler Who Forgot She Was Holding It All
For years, maybe even decades, you’ve been the one who makes it all work. The caregiver, the worker, the partner, the homemaker, the daughter, the planner.
The one who shows up, who holds it all together, picking up pieces no one even notices are broken.
The woman who feels like they are always doing, fixing, supporting, giving (I know her, I’ve been my own version of her!)…and somehow, in the middle of all that doing, you stopped being.
I thought I was being strong. What I didn’t realise was that I was slowly disappearing, even from myself.
Maybe you’ve lost touch with what inspires you, you don’t know what excites you, or even, what feels like you anymore. It’s hardly a surprise, then, that others don’t always see us clearly when we’ve dimmed our light along the way.
The Discontent We Can’t Always Name
It doesn’t always show up as a crisis.
Sometimes, it’s just quiet discontent, a dull ache that something’s off. You might feel irritated with those around you, or you find yourself crying at adverts, snapping at loved ones, or retreating into your own head.
You wonder if maybe someone else can fix it, or maybe a change of job, a new project, a different routine will lift you. Perhaps your partner will notice you need more, or your friends will check in more often.
I used to tell myself I was just tired. Just busy. If I worked a little harder, gave a little more, maybe then I’d feel whole again.
But the truth is, no one else can rewrite your story. Only one person can make the change, and that person… is you. That’s your power (& your invitation).
The Mirror and the Matchstick
Imagine standing in front of a mirror that’s fogged up. You can just about see the outline of yourself, but the details are blurry. You wipe it with your sleeve, trying to get a clearer view, but it keeps misting over again.
That mirror is your life when it’s full of roles and expectations.
…and the matchstick?
That’s the moment you decide to light something for yourself again, a spark, a flicker of recognition, a decision that you matter, too.
Small Sparks That Shift Everything
It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. It can be a quiet decision, just for you:
- To step outside and feel the daylight on your face before the emails begin.
- To eat a real lunch, not just grab something between calls.
- To speak up when you need help instead of smiling through it.
- To stop apologising for needing rest, space, or joy.
It’s not selfish. It’s self-return and the moment you choose yourself, something shifts.
You become visible, first to yourself, and then to everyone else.
Taking the First Step Back to You
The power to feel different, to live differently, isn’t outside of you. It never was.
It’s in the choices you begin to make today, however small! Choices that honour your voice, your desires, your worth, because the first step to being seen by others…
… is choosing to see yourself.
You don’t need to blow up your life to feel more like yourself again. You just need to come home to yourself, one decision at a time.
That starts with being honest:
· What am I craving?
· What am I missing?
· Where have I been putting myself last?
If something in this has stirred something in you, even if you can’t quite name it, you’re not alone. So many of us have felt this way, especially after years of putting everyone else first.
That’s why I created The YOU Project, a group coaching space designed to put you back in the frame.
No judgement. No performance. Just space to rediscover what you need, who you are, and how to live in a way that actually honours that.
…because the first step to being seen by others, is choosing to see yourself.
